Iconographs
by SilverInkblot
Summary: Random moments, backstories, behind the scenes, and inside the mind of. No pairings, no continuity. This time with contortion, experience, acoustics, stones, and repression.
1. Chapter 1

_I invoke the right of the Universal Disclaimer. Enjoy._

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* * *

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**Chess**

There was a certain chess-like quality to running a city. The other sides were closing in, but Vetinari was playing without a king, and a chessboard without a king was a chessboard that couldn't lose.

**Terms**

WHY IS IT CALLED A BUILDING?

"What?"

IT IS NOT IN THE PROCESS OF BEING BUILT. DO YOU REFER TO A CHILD AS A GROWING?

**Paper**

It was Young Sam's first Hogswatch. There was nothing more exciting for a one-year-old than bright shiny paper to rip and toss about. At least until one of the dragons lit it aflame.

**Miniature**

Two pairs of eyes looked over the city of Ankh-Morpork.

"A model?"

"Yes my lord. And look!" Leonard pressed a button and every tiny clocktower went off with finely tuned precision.

**Shore**

Ponder hugged his knees to his chest.

"Ever wonder what's out there Bursar?"

"Hn?" The Bursar was scaring hermit crabs back into their shells. There was a sudden commotion as Ridcully made his way over.

"Heheh! Hey fellows! Look what I've caught!" He raised his latest catch high. It looked like a swordfish and an octopus had each had one too many and decided to procreate.

Ponder craned his neck to the heavens.

"On second thought, maybe I don't want to know."

**Honest**

Angua buried her face in her hands. Carrot had such an open honest face. He'd never win a game of Cripple Mr. Onion this way.

**Mistake**

The Alchemist's Guild was on fire again. Death waited patiently for his next client. The alchemist rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Well. That was stupid."

**Gender**

Wearing dresses and adopting female mannerisms was all well and good, but Moist began to worry when Gladys began writing romance novels.

**Books**

The Librarian treasured all the tomes in his care, but he did have his favorites. Grass Green and the Twenty-Seven Golems was always a good read and 1,389 Ways the Universe Is Out To Get You was fascinating when it wasn't trying to bite his fingers off.

**Pattern**

They said the he kept such an irregular clock to drive his visitors insane. And that was part of it. The other part was the fact that it was intriguing to the Patrician to have something with a pattern that never matched his predictions.

**Dignity**

Vimes had worn the tights. Worn the clothes whose button had sparkled like glitter and matching shoes with soles an inch thick. But there was no way in hell that anyone was going to make him wear the dress.

"It's a robe dear."

It's a dress Sybil."

**Nostalgia**

+++ I Remember My First Operating Program. +++

"Do you now?"

+++ Yes. Things Were Much Simpler Then. +++

"Wait a minute, are you getting _nostalgic_?"

**Throne**

The wooden throne of Lancre squeaked gently as Verence bounced his baby daughter on his knees. Far away, the hollow golden throne of Ankh-Morpork remained resolutely unoccupied.

**Push**

Dr. Lawn certainly had his hands full.

"Okay, okay. Breathe now. Where is that water?! Keep breathing. Ready? Now, push! Push!"

Angua screamed with pain and gripped at Carrot who felt his hand go numb.

"Congratulations! It's a . . . puppy?"

Angua jolted awake, back stiff as a poker. Beside her, Carrot slept on, blissfully unaware.

**Field**

On the plains of Sto Helit, a scarecrow stood guard in the wheat field. On its shoulder, Quoth pecked at the face and was invariably disappointed by the lack of eyeballs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Smile**

Angua left without saying goodbye. She knew she wouldn't be able to leave if she saw him smile at her again.

**Mood**

If they had a personality, the Auditors would have been in a permanent state of grouchiness. But they did not, and so they were not.

**Portrait**

Otto pointed his camera toward the smiling young couple. But no matter what setting, what lens he used, the woman never appeared in the picture. Wen laughed with sudden understanding.

"Of course! You can't take a picture of Time!"

**Promise**

He said he'd be home at six, and Vimes would be damned if the universe thought it could keep him from that vow. He lit a cigar, put on his most intimidating face, and got down to business.

**Insurance**

Drumknott was one of the few individuals that didn't pay up to the Thieves Guild. Being the Patrician's personal secretary was its own brand of protection.

**Abandoned**

Dorfl worked tirelessly, constantly, thoughtlessly. But somewhere in his clay was a deep sadness. The Dearheart lady hadn't come back.

**Quiet**

Sweeper didn't talk often, but when he did it was usually worth listening.

**Honor**

Young Sam (now the only Sam) made his way through the cemetery, past blank markers and modest graves. He never knew why his father always came back every year, but it felt important to carry on remembering.

**Rainy**

Susan looked out the window at the gathering rainclouds and sighed. As if her hair wasn't bad enough on its own.

**Generous**

The suicides were the worst. They expected Death to be generous.

**Coincidence**

Granny Weatherwax kept her face a careful neutral.

"And the… cat… just happened to eat it?"

"Bad luck that."

**Easy**

It wasn't easy being the Hogfather. Luckily, the free food and single workday a year made up for it.

**Concerned**

Downey peered over the lip of the building and grimaced at the grisly scene below. Assassins weren't supposed to leave such messy jobs behind. He hoped he wasn't in too much trouble for it.

* * *

_This is my favorite style to write in. I already have the next installment started, but I'm happy to take requests, word prompts, or random ideas you'd like to throw my way :) My one exception is pairings - I don't write good romance. Sorry. Anything else is fair game though, so send it in!_

_Disclaimer still applies. -SilverInkblot_


	3. Chapter 3

**Sly**

"Have you tried a good kick?"

"Hex is a very delicate machine Archchancellor."

"Nonsense. A good kick solves just about anything."

+++Wait+++

Ridcully paused, foot in midair. Hex began whirring and clicking.

+++Problem Solved+++

"See? It was just playing sick after all."

**Truth**

The lie was that Vetinari had spies all over the city. The truth was that Vetinari had given the beggars their own guild, and Queen Molly would always be in his debt for that.

**Note**

Nobby picked up a scrap of paper from the cobblestones.

_The password is swordfish._

"Huh."

**Time**

Wuffles snuffled deeper into his dogbed blankets, ignoring his fresh bowl of food, He could feel time creeping up on him.

**Garish**

Vimes stared into his drink, wishing his headache would dissipate. The old woman singing an unnecessarily loud song about a hedgehog wasn't helping.

**Cheerful**

Lupine Wonse feverently polished the metal portions of the Gonne with an unrealized intensity. He felt almost cheerful.

**Erase**

Rincewind wiped at the ground with his robe. No footprints. No footprints.

**Sun**

His adopted family realized early on that Carrot's human tendencies could not be ignored. His father would always remember his sons face when he saw the sun for the first time.

**Longing**

Rust's hand stayed near his sword, itching to get the battle underway.

**Average**

Fred Colon wasn't the greatest of Watchmen. It was just something to do until retirement.

**Kindness**

Most of the noble families believed Sibyl married Vimes because she was just an odd duck. The more sympathetic ones believed she was just a kind person. They just didn't understand the concept of marrying for love.

**Open**

Adora toddled on tiny legs away from the pastel nursery. A noise from a nearby room aroused her curiosity and she peeked inside and gasped. That strange man's head was open!

**Shock**

It was so hot in Klatch it took Detritus nearly ten minutes to be surprised by the sight of Nobby in women's clothing.

* * *

_Standard Disclaimer. As usual. -SilverInkblot_


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer goes WHERE?_

* * *

**Package**

Moist pulled at the string of the package on his desk. Inside was a slip of paper.

_Lord Vetinari requires your presence to discuss the 'banana problem' that transpired not ten minutes ago._

Dammit! How did he _**do**_ that? Moist grabbed his coat and fled the room.

**Kindness**

Adora heard about it later from Mr. Pump, how the golems had put all their wishes into their creation. They had made it too human to be a good king.

**Lazy**

Mrs. Flitworth had never been one for idleness. Boredom begets stupidity.

**Thorn**

Magarat turned to unsnag her hair from the thorn bushes. This sort of thing never happened to the other two.

**Imitation**

There was a long audible sigh from the doorway.

+++ A Long Day? +++

Ponder sighed again.

"Oh yes. Jenkins – "

+++ Wandered Into The Library Too Far. +++

"How did you know?"

+++ The Patrician Was Here 5.6 Minutes Ago. +++

"How did _**he**_ know? How – "

+++ He Is The Patrician. It Would Require Careful Study To Understand. +++

"Oh no. I don't want a learning machine imitating His Lordship."

**Music**

Carrot had never been musically inclined. Innate kingship didn't translate into natural talent. You just couldn't be good at everything.

**Tread**

"Be careful Sir. Be very careful."

"Sam! I asked you what you thought of this dress?"

**Empty**

Tiffany sighed and reached for her boots. The sheep were out of the pen _again_.

**Green**

Agnes looked disapprovingly on the figure in the mirror. Green just wasn't her color.

**Balanced**

Reaping was just a job. It wasn't one he particularly enjoyed. But Death did appreciate a job well done, and the soft _whoosh_ of a clean cut was immensely satisfying.

**Vacation**

They said Sean Ogg never took a day off. But that wasn't true. He went to sleep every night didn't he?

**Silly**

It was hard to be anything but serious with a name like Mort.

**Unexpected**

Vimes could only stare at the sky as it rained bananas.

"Evening Your Grace," Vetinari walked by under a black umbrella, apparently unaffected in the slightest.

* * *

_Why yes, the brick joke WAS intentional. -SilverInkblot_


	5. Chapter 5

**Red**

_Grey… Drab, dull, boring, average_. Jean Grey quietly wished to have been named Jean Scarlett.

**Yellow**

Moist looked away hurriedly. Gladys really shouldn't wear yellow. She looked strangely like a giant lemon.

**Blue**

_Dear Hogfather, this Hogswatch I want a blue – _Blue! They always wanted blue. For everything! Blue toys, blue dolls, blue clothes, blue, blue, BLUE!

**Snow**

Reg Shoe woke up in his grave one fine morning to find himself buried under three inches of snow.

"Damn."

**Lounge**

Gaspode noticed the fluffy poodle lounging in the mansion window and huffed. Housedogs!

**Discord**

The atmosphere took on a sudden stillness as the Death of Rats listened closely to the world. Somewhere, something was very wrong. Something to do with… bananas?

**Playful**

Rincewind blanched as the branch he was on gave a very audible _crack_; that was a long way to fall. Never mind the large dog waiting at the bottom.

"Aw, come on down now, he just wants to play!"

**Window**

There was a whisper in the tunnels about a large shipment of glass; they said the Low King wanted windows!

**Holy**

The Duck Man sighed at the sight of Constable Visit's religious pamphlets scattered about the overflowing trash bin. Was nothing sacred anymore? That paper made for excellent burning! He collected as much as he could; the beggars would sleep warm tonight.

**Winter**

There was snow on the streets of Ankh-Morpork. Granted, by the time it had finished falling through all the smoke and pollution it was an unappealing dark grayish-brown color, but that was Ankh-Morpork for you.

Vimes felt like there was a metaphor in there somewhere.

**Spring**

"Ah, spring," Ridcully was practically skipping. "The sunshine…"

"Sunburn," grumbled the Dean.

"The flowers…"

"Allergies."

"The birds?"

"Right, and all their droppings."

**Summer**

Binky loved the summer. That was when the apples tasted the best.

**Fall**

"And that's how I saved Hogswatch. Anyway – Nobby? Where'd ya go?"

"Down here Sarge."

"Now how did you get down there?"

"Didn't see the hole Sarge."


	6. Chapter 6

**Motivation**

"You don't need food."

No.

"You don't need water."

No.

"You've freed every golem in the city."

Yes.

"Then why are you still working day and night? If I were you, I'd be finding a nice place to retire about now."

You Are Not Me.

**Weave**

Rincewind watched the tiny spider at work on a web that was now larger than he was and scooted away. Who knew what it was planning to catch in that gigantic web?

**Map**

"Maybe we should ask for directions Granny."

"I ain't lost! I know exactly where we are and it's exactly where we don't want to be!"

**Saint**

Mrs. Norwell tiptoed to her children's bedroom and peeked inside. To her great surprise, both were soundly asleep. Ever since hiring Susan, the boys had been regular angels.

**Shoes**

Cheri looked longingly at the heels in the window and sighed. Sometimes it was hard being a female. Men had it so easy. And she would know.

**Court**

There was an unspoken growing tension in Lancre. The little princess _was_ the daughter of a witch after all. Surely this was going to affect future politics.

**Limit**

"Mr. Teatime."

"It's teh-a-tim-eh sir."

Downey suppressed a shudder. Sooner or later he was going to mispronounce that name one time too many.

**Blemish**

Igor inadvertently created a new craze among the aristocracy after one of them _voluntarily_ came to him for an operation on his large nose. They were calling it beautifying surgery.

**Redundant**

Angua snarled at a newbie and stormed off to find Carrot. Colon and Nobby stared (from a safe distance).

"What's wrong with her?"

"Must be that time of the month Sarge."

"You mean the moon's full?"

"That's what I said Sarge."

**Saying**

"You know what they say Archchancellor. A picture is worth a thousand words."

"If that were true, the moving picture would always be better than the book."

**Paint**

Death set the paintbrush down and stepped away from the canvas.

ALBERT.

"Coming. What is it Master?"

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

"Er… well, it's… it's very dark."

Albert was looking at a completely black canvas. Death picked up the brush and signed the bottom right corner.

YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND TRUE ART.

**Desire**

Vimes left Vetinari's office, dartboard under one arm, completely satisfied.

"The contradictions of what men desire and what they ask for are fascinating Drumknott."

"Indeed sir."

"What about you Drumknott?" Vetinari turned to his secretary. "If offered anything, what would you ask for?"

"More pencils sir."

* * *

_Disclaimer: You know the drill. -SilverInkblot_


	7. Chapter 7

**Stone**

The scythe was perfectly balanced and felt right in his hands. But Mort wasn't cut out to be the Reaper and wondered if maybe he should chisel gravestones instead.

**Dice**

They said the gods played games with the fates of men. If that was true, the Vimes wanted to know the stakes.

**Flowers**

Granny would have said something, but Nanny was nice enough not to point out that the flowers in Magarats hair were dying.

**Fragile**

Fred Colon pushed his way through the hospital before finding his path blocked by Doctor Lawn.

"Your friend, Sergeant, is in a very delicate condition after his fall."

"Nobby? He doesn't even know what 'delicate' means!"

**Vacation**

SQUEAK.

SOMEWHERE SUNNY?

SQUEAK.

THE BEACH? YOU KNOW I CAN NEVER GET THE SAND OUT OF MY ROBES. THAT'S NO VACATION.

**Illusion**

The great philosophers liked to believe time was an illusion. The History Monks knew better of course, but found counter-arguments with philosophers not to be worth the time.

**Turmoil**

Lipwig was a man caught in a personal crisis – would Adora look better in blue or red?

**Sunshine**

+++ Tell Me About The Sun. +++

"What about it? You probably know more than I."

+++ I Know That It Is A Big Ball Of Flaming Gas That Illuminates The Disc. +++

"Well, there you go."

+++ ……… +++

+++ But What Is It Like? +++

**Dark**

Reg waved his makeshift flag (an old shirt) with such vigor that no one had the heart to tell him it was too dark to see anything.

**Float**

"It could be worse."

"Shut up."

Twoflower and Rincewind clung to the top of the Luggage, bumping into every rock of the rapids they had landed themselves in.

"Oh look," Twoflower reached for his camera. "Piranhas."

**Mystery**

The eternal question begs; if two lifetimers empty of sand at the same time, which one gets the visit from Death? Granted, Death exists outside of time and is in fact omnipresent, but even he couldn't be _everywhere_.

**Above**

Magarat did love being married to Verence; it was the being queen that was difficult. She had never considered herself above anyone, and now everyone was looking up at her.

**Righteous**

They said that the mere touch of a true king brought blessings from whatever higher power you put your faith in. What they didn't tell you was that those blessings were reserved for the truly righteous. Too bad weren't any of those in Ankh – Morpork.

* * *

_Apologies for a long delay. Many new oneshots forthcoming. Standard disclaimer. -SilverInkblot_


	8. Chapter 8

**Introduction**

Vimes stood outside the new Patrician's door, helmet under one arm. First Winder, then Snapcase; he could only hope the new guy was, at the very least, sane.

**Love**

A dwarf/human and a wolf/human; maybe their human halves could be happy with each other.

**Dark**

They said you showed who you really are in the dark. But Granny didn't live in the dark; she lived on the Edge, and had stared dark in the face and sent it running. But the voice still echoed somewhere in the back of her mind: _what are you in the dark?_

**Light**

Otto was the worst type of a vampire; he was the vampire equivalent of a morning person.

**Breathe**

As Trev got up slowly, one hand help to his head and waved to the crowd to show that he was alright, Juliet let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

**Foreign**

Sean Ogg watched the traveling priest as he walked by the smithy. Mother wouldn't like this.

**Memory**

Maybe it was his programming, but Hex had a lot of memories he didn't remember experiencing. It wasn't a problem he could explain to the faculty though.

"What do you mean you have memories you don't remember having? That doesn't make a lick of sense."

**Night**

Keel squinted in the weak candlelight of Swing's torture chamber. "Can I get a light?"

"I have long preferred the dark," said the voice of Swing behind him.

**Misfortune**

Death was never one to laugh at the misfortunes of humans, but some of them really did find hilarious ways to meet him.

**Innocence**

Mrs. Palm smiled to herself as Sandra took care of another customer. She really was adorable.

**Stars**

Reg was rather surprised to wake up after having supposedly been dead. He wasn't even properly buried yet. The stiffness had managed to set into his limbs though, and he was having trouble getting off his back and on his feet. Always one to make the best of a situation, he found the stars to be lovely from here.

**Escape**

Susan knew she couldn't run; no one escaped her grandfather.

**Surprise**

No matter his insistence, Sybil always wrapped Vetinari's Hogswatch present neatly with a large bow to match the paper. Vimes didn't see the point. It wasn't like the man was ever surprised by anything.

* * *

_The next chapter is already written, so stay tuned! _:)

_-SilverInkblot_


	9. Chapter 9

**Solace**

As Vimes took another drink from the bottle, he couldn't help but think he was seeking solace in all the wrong places.

**Heaven**

Death didn't know anything about the afterlife, but if there was a heaven he wasn't willing to trade it for his cornfields.

**Drive**

Ponder had never been ambitious – he was just curious. And now he had controlling interest in the University. Life was funny that way.

**Insanity**

Teatime knew he wasn't insane – it was everyone else that was really insane. The thought put a smile on his face every time.

**Mouth**

Hex wished he had a mouth so he could smile with it.

**Silence**

Sally strained to listen; the silence was alive with vibrations that didn't quite reach her ears and the feeling was unnerving.

**Questioning**

Glenda shooed Juliet out of the Night Kitchen. That girl never stopped asking her questions about anything.

**Rainbow**

"Lookit that Sarge."

Nobby was pointing to the sky where a streak of colors hung across the city.

"Eh. The wizards probably did something stupid again."

**Gray**

Tiffany walked slowly, feeling every bruise from yesterday's fall and groaned at the loveliness of the day. The sky had no right to be this blue when she was so grey.

**Fortitude**

Magarat may have been a wet hen, but she had reserves of grit and strength that Granny had never seen before.

**Cat**

Ridcully wanted a pet. It was out of the question of course, but there was no harm in feeding the alley strays right?

**Happiness**

Drumknott accepted the Hogswatch present from von Lipwig with his usual blank face, resolving to open it at home. It was at the urging of his superior that he opened the gift then and there and a smile made its way onto his face when he saw the pencils.

**Pretty**

Dwarves and trolls didn't see the point of flowers. There wasn't a point in fact, but they were pretty.

* * *

_Needed: Story requests. Please use review or PM button to help rid me of my writer's block._

_Also; the underlining only works about half the time on these documents. Anyone know what's up with that?_

_- SilverInkblot_


	10. Chapter 10

**Bored**

It was essential for survival that the wizards of Unseen University keep the Archchancellor occupied. All kinds of interesting things happened when Ridcully was left idle.

**Eyes**

"Don't you lie to me Gytha Ogg!"

"How did you know I was lying? Did my eyes give me away? Did you look into my soul Granny?"

"Hah! I don't need to read your soul when I can see it on your face!"

**Mature**

Vimes watched his younger self in the courtyard with his mates. He knew what would happen – a certain dare involving scampering on rooftops through the Shades and falling and massive pain and _gods_ was he ever that _stupid_? He would have to stop himself as soon as this shift was over.

**Myth**

Most thought Mr. Shine a myth and that was alright with him. The less confirmed, the better, if only to keep jewelers off his trail.

**Passion**

B.S Johnson may not have been a perfect inventor, but no one could say he didn't love what he did.

**Gold**

"Honestly, I don't see what's wrong with a 'give the Dean a bag of money' goblin."

+++ They Say A Man's Wealth Is Measured By The Amount Of Beautiful Moments He Has Experienced. +++

"Fah! I'd rather have a big bag of gold."

+++ You Must Be A Very Poor Man. +++

**Justice**

There was no justice. But there was irony and Death liked to think he had a sense of humor.

**Field**

The horse under Glenda raced through the cornfields of Quirm into the sunset. She was too blinded by the dying sunlight to appreciate it though; it really wasn't as wonderful as she thought it would be.

**Sky**

The sky of the tooth fairy world seemed to bother everybody but Banjo. It made perfect sense to him.

**Crunchy**

Colon heard something _crunch_ in the pie Dibbler had given him. His first reaction was to spit it out before deciding he _really_ didn't want to know what it was.

**Annoying**

One said, "Listen."

One said, "What?"

One said, "Listen."

One said, "What is it?"

One said, "Listen."

One said, "Shut up."

**Reality**

Vimes had to admit, solving cases was much easier without the alcohol. You couldn't see the world proper from that end of the bottle.

**Abandoned**

There was something really sad about all these unread letters. Moist picked up a nondescript envelope from the multitude. It had to be at least half a century old. He wondered if the addressee was even alive anymore.

* * *

_The last one will probably be expanded for the next chapter of A Collection of Moments. I haven't done one with Moist_ yet after all. - SilverInkblot


	11. Chapter 11

******Headache**

Vetinari watched the street from above. Below, the city cogs were in a gridlock; a cart of vegetables had spilled and what began as a simple problem had escalated into a complete halt. Were he the type, Vetinari would have put a hand to his forehead and sighed.

**Habitual**

"Make the tea Ma- Agnes."

"Were you about to call me Magarat?"

"I was about to do no such thing!"

Agnes smiled as she caught Nanny's eye but didn't press her luck. Moments like that though were worth putting up with Granny.

**Roses**

Vimes heard the scream from the back of the house. Someone had set off the miniature (non-lethal) Piecemaker he put there. He sighed and hoped the rosebushes were alright. Sybil liked those.

**Career**

Juliet was baking pies. Granted, she wasn't very good at it; if modeling didn't work out, she might have a career making dwarf bread.

**Romantic**

Cheery had given Angua yet another romance novel. Whoever this "Gladys" author was, neither she nor Cheery realized that kissing in the rain was in no way romantic for a werewolf.

**Starvation**

"Don't touch that Nobby!"

Nobby put down the kebob. "Why?"

Colon whispered confidentially. "We're in Klatch now Nobby. You can't go around eating foreign food! It might be… poisonous."

"But they're eatin' it Sarge."

"Well, that's different. They've gotta whatchacallit. Immunity."

**Rules**

If people wondered why Sweeper smiled as he worked, they didn't ask. If they would, he would answer that everyone forgot Rule One at some point of another.

**Obsession**

Leonard had the kind of mind that would never be satisfied. Yet here he was, totally happy with his lot in life.

**Dreams**

If Carrot was the leader the city dreamed of, then Angua was interested in knowing what that made her.

**Two**

There had to be three witches; too bad Agnes was enough for two people.

**Expectations**

"Well?"

"Well what?"

Vetinari almost smiled. "Do I live up to your expectations?"

Vimes could only stare at his new boss.

**Dangerous**

AS it turned out, Carcer really had stolen a loaf of bread – and killed three people on the way out.

**Wet**

Angua steeped into the relative dryness of the Watch House and resisted the urge to shake herself dry.

* * *

_Chapter eleven! :) And more to come!_

_Also, I've taken to using LJ as a writing tool, and as way to talk about what I'm working on. If you're interested, or would like to make story requests, please drop by._

_- SilverInkblot_


	12. Chapter 12

**Hear**

After gaining a tongue, many of the golems found they liked the sound of their own voice.

**Stripes**

Vimes blinked to clear the apparition but no; one of the Klatchian ambassadors had brought a striped horse as tribute.

**Waiting**

Moist grabbed the reins – he didn't have enough patience to wait for Fate or Destiny or what have you.

**Can't**

_Cannot _was just another word for _try harder_ in Granny's book

**Pain**

Reg was on patrol with one of the newbies.

"Does dying hurt?"

"Not as much as living."

**Mischief**

Glenda was busy, but not so busy she didn't see Trev sneak out with a stolen pie. She smiled anyway – she had filled that one with horseradish and hazelnut, especially for him.

**Magic**

Vimes was an old copper; he didn't believe in gods, didn't believe in magic, didn't even believe in himself half the time. But, sometimes, he believed in people.

**Tower**

They said you could see the edge of the Disc if you had the stamina to reach the top of the Tower of Art. Rincewind was too busy fearing for his life to confirm or deny the rumor.

**Creation**

There was Time and Age and Death, but Fear was humanity's own creation.

**Color**

Mr. Shine often entertained the younger generations by turning his hand into a magnificent prism. The toddlers loved that trick.

**Fire**

One asked _What is it?_

One replied _Humans call it flame._

One queried _What is its purpose?_

One hypothesized _It is used for warmth_.

One wondered _What is warmth?_

**Safety**

Dorfl was often sent to do crowd control. Nothing like a golem to silence a riot.

**Secret**

People in Ankh – Morpork only thought they had secrets. The only person in the city with any secrets was Vetinari.

* * *

_I already put a similar note in my other Discworld collection, but I will repeat here; this is my last piece in this collection for a long while. _

_I began writing in this fandom for one of my best friends who roped me into the series and was the source of many great ideas; he was also my beta of sorts; everything I did in Discworld went through him before it came here. Since moving to another college, my source of motivation has been largely lost. I'm sorry for it, but there isn't much I can do about it._

_I am **not** leaving the fandom altogether; this note is mainly so that none of my constant readers think I dropped out completely. I do plan to continue as best I can, but the wait between updates will likely be a long one. I'm grateful to all the wonderful reviewers for my Discworld work; you've left some of the most encouraging reviews of any of my fanfiction and I read them constantly when I need a boost. _

_Thanks for everything. I promise to be back with more as soon as I can :)_

_- SilverInkblot  
_


	13. Chapter 13

**Horror**

Drumknott pulled open a file drawer, looking for his pencil stash. He was shocked to find his usual drawer was now full of blank paper. He pulled open the paper drawer; envelopes.

Drumknott catapulted from his bed, shaken by the nightmare.

**Solitude**

Cheery sat alone in Ankh-Morpork's most popular dwarf bar while the boys clonked each other on the head.

**Tiny**

Leonard was fond of working on minuscules. It was easier to study life in miniature.

**Keys**

Angua shoved another criminal into the Watch House cells.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to leave the keys right next to the door?"

She rolled her eyes. One of _those_.

**Flow**

The History Monks tried to make time flow seamlessly, but it was like patching a hole in the roof. Only, there was no roof.

**Drowning**

The last Postmaster had drowned in all the letters. Moist was about to be crushed by an avalanche.

**Food**

+++ I'm Hungry. +++

"No you're not! You're a machine! You're not even human!"

+++ Neither Are Trolls, Dwarfs, Vampires, Werewolves. Yet They Eat. +++

**Terminology**

His parents had called him a natural leader. His aunt understood him better – Vetinari was a natural politician.

**Incentive**

Everyone wanted something right? Guild leaders across the city knew that was fact. Yet here stood Sam Vimes, always in their way.

**Unnecessary**

Death kept his scythe sharp, but it wasn't really needed. Souls were remarkably easy to sever.

**Missing**

"Have you seen Trev?"

"I believe he's hiding from you Glenda."

**Rulebook**

Granny always knew the rules, even when she had no intention of following them.

**Routine**

Being the Death of Rats wasn't exactly an exciting job. Rats didn't even have a concept of games, nevermind the idea of playing for your life.

Except that Nicodemus fellow. The Death of Rats suspected he lost that game on purpose.

* * *

_Secret of NIMH reference FTW. Possible crossover in the future.  
_

_Found a stash of some old snippets, added a few and uploaded it. Just a reminder that I'm not dead and am in fact still active in the fanfic world._

_Working on a few things for my other Discworld collection as well, so keep a lookout :D_

_-SilverInkblot  
_


	14. Chapter 14

**Experience**

The first time Havelock Vetinari killed a man, he had to take his clothes to the laundresses to remove a small bloodstain on the sleeve.

The second time, not a drop hit the floor.

**Goodbye**

Teppic slung his bag over his shoulder and waved goodbye to Ptraci as he walked to the boats. He didn't look back.

**Soporific**

"… and that's how you take care of a pest problem." Fred Colon finished his story with a definitive nod, never realizing that the entire room had fallen asleep during his story.

**Frequent**

Vimes sighed and paid for the gifts Sybil had bought, glad Hogswatch only came once a year.

**Contortion**

"Don't mess with her Borrigan." Nobby pointed Angua out to a newbie. "Didja see what she did to the last poor sop she brought in?"

"I didn't know dwarfs could bend like that."

**Repression**

Nanny told a lot of stories – Magrat tried to forget most of them.

**Marvel**

Ridcully beamed at the horizon. "My, what a lovely sunrise!"

"Looks just like a sunset."

"My pillow is prettier."

"I haven't had breakfast in twenty years – what's this doughy flat thing?

"That's a pancake Dean."

**Gazebo**

Fred Colon pulled himself from the wreckage of the collapsed gazebo. "What just happened?"

"I think you made it angry Sarge."

**Acoustics**

"Well, you know Granny. Heart of gold under all that cranky."

"I heard that Gytha Ogg!"

**Inventive**

Leonard had learned – mistakes were the foundation of success.

**Race**

The First Annual Ankh-Morpork Marathon was a flop – no one bothered to enter. The Second Annual Ankh-Morpork Marathon was a much greater success after the wizards were banned for having Rincewind on their team.

**Appeal**

You couldn't fake charisma – Moist of all people knew that. How the hell did Vetinari keep his job?

**Stone**

People were good at casting stones – witches were good at throwing them back.

* * *

_I just realized I haven't updated this since January. I promise I'm still writing it! I seem to be more fond of my other Discworld collection of oneshots._

_-SilverInkblot_


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